It’s curious, isn’t it? How a person can wound you with their words, diminish you with their actions, and then—just as swiftly—wrap it all in a neat little package with, “Be blessed.” As if those words could wash away the stain of what came before.

But there’s something deeply unsettling about that. It’s not the phrase itself, but the dissonance. How quickly we have learned to seek absolution through words, while our actions stand unchanged. It’s as if we’ve convinced ourselves that a blessing, spoken aloud, will outweigh the harm we’ve caused.

James Baldwin once said, “We can disagree and still love each other unless your disagreement is rooted in my oppression and denial of my humanity and right to exist.” These moments—these “Be blessed” sign-offs—seem to live in that same dissonance. We toss blessings like pennies into a fountain, hoping for a wish to come true, while the real work of being a blessing goes ignored.

What if, instead of hollow words, we focused on being the blessing? Not after the fact, not as a parting sentiment, but in how we live, how we show up, how we engage. To be a blessing is to make sure your presence adds something—healing, understanding, or even just a listening ear—to the lives you touch. It is not enough to wish others well if your hands have contributed to their pain.

The truth is, we cannot afford the luxury of empty words. Next time you feel the need to say “Be blessed,” ask yourself first: Have I been a blessing in this conversation? For it is in the quiet, in the honest examination of our own hearts, that real change begins. And that, my friends, is where the true blessing lies.