“One,” they invariably answer.
“Really?” I ask. “Well, if you have a conscious mind, what else must you have?”
They pause.
“An unconscious mind.”
Now we’re getting somewhere.
I explain that the conscious mind is your reasoning mind.
It’s the mind you’re using to read these words.
It’s the mind you use to evaluate information, solve problems, and make deliberate decisions.
It can agree or disagree with what someone tells you.
It can even disagree that 2+2=4.
It would be wrong.
But it can disagree.
The unconscious mind operates differently.
Strictly speaking, we’re not talking about two separate minds. We’re talking about different kinds of mental processes.
Conscious reasoning allows us to examine information deliberately.
Unconscious processes operate largely outside our awareness, influencing our habits, emotions, expectations, and even some physical responses.
And that brings me to something fascinating.
Your Body Can Respond to Something That Isn’t Happening
You’ve probably seen hypnosis demonstrated on television or in an online video.
Perhaps you’ve watched a hypnotist suggest that someone is standing outside in freezing weather.
Or sitting somewhere unbearably hot.
The room hasn’t changed.
The temperature hasn’t changed.
Yet the person may begin experiencing sensations of cold or heat.
But does this phenomenon extend beyond television demonstrations?
Scientists have been studying that very question.
And some of the research is remarkable.
In November 2025, researchers published a clinical trial in JAMA Network Open involving 250 postmenopausal women experiencing hot flashes.
One group practiced guided self-hypnosis using relaxation and mental imagery of coolness.
The other listened to recordings of white noise presented as a comparison hypnosis intervention.
After six weeks, the women practicing self-hypnosis experienced a 53.4% reduction in their reported hot-flash scores, which combined frequency and severity.
The comparison group also improved, reporting a 40.9% reduction.
The difference favored hypnosis.
Read the 2025 JAMA Network Open study.
Then, in May 2026, another team published research in Scientific Reports involving 80 adults.
Researchers examined whether a brief hypnosis intervention using suggestions of safety could influence the body’s physiological stress response.
After the intervention, the hypnosis group showed a reduction in its cortisol awakening response, a measure related to how the body prepares for the demands of the day.
Additional analyses suggested a decrease in morning heart rate.
The study had limitations, including differences between the groups before the intervention. Still, the findings suggest that hypnosis-based interventions may influence measurable physiological responses.
Read the 2026 Scientific Reports study.
Think about that.
In one study, guided mental imagery was associated with improvements in reported physical symptoms.
In another, a suggestion of safety was followed by measurable changes in a biological stress marker.
Neither experiment proves that our unconscious mind believes everything we tell it. Nor does hypnosis work equally well for everyone.
But together, they illustrate something worth considering.
What our minds perceive and expect can influence what our bodies experience.
And that raises a question far more important than anything that happens on a hypnotist’s stage.
What happens when the suggestions are coming from us?
The Stories We Tell Ourselves
Consider a person who has spent years telling herself she’s not smart enough.
Or a man who repeatedly tells himself he’s too old to start over.
Or someone who grew up hearing:
“People like us don’t do things like that.”
Eventually, these ideas can become more than passing thoughts.
They become expectations.
And expectations can shape decisions.
A promising opportunity appears.
Before the person has even explored it, an old familiar voice says:
“You’re not qualified.”
“You’re going to embarrass yourself.”
“Who do you think you are?”
And just like that, the opportunity disappears.
Not because somebody rejected them.
Not because they lacked the ability.
But because they rejected themselves before anyone else had the chance.
That’s what makes the next distinction so important.
Having a Thought. Believing a Thought. Being Governed by a Thought.
These are three different things.
1. Having a thought
A thought enters your mind.
“I’m going to fail.”
You didn’t necessarily invite it.
It simply appeared.
That happens to all of us.
2. Believing a thought
Now something changes.
Instead of recognizing the thought as a possibility, you begin treating it as a prediction.
You assume the feeling is evidence.
You confuse familiarity with truth.
3. Being governed by a thought
This is where things get expensive.
You don’t apply for the position.
You don’t write the book.
You don’t start the business.
You don’t have the conversation.
Your behavior begins organizing itself around an assumption you’ve never seriously examined.
The thought has moved from being something you experienced to something you obey.
And here’s the tragedy.
A belief can become a boundary. And after living inside that boundary long enough, you may begin to mistake it for who you are.
How an Ordinary Thought Can Steal an Extraordinary Opportunity
Let’s bring this down from psychology to everyday life.
Imagine a successful professional who has spent twenty years building a career.
She’s good at what she does. Respected by colleagues. Experienced. Accomplished.
But lately, she’s been thinking about doing something different.
Maybe starting a business.
Maybe changing careers.
Maybe pursuing a dream she abandoned years ago.
Then one afternoon, an opportunity appears.
And almost immediately, a thought enters her mind.
“I’m too old to start over.”
That’s stage one.
She’s having a thought.
Nothing unusual. Nothing necessarily harmful. Just a thought.
But instead of questioning it, she begins looking for reasons to support it.
She remembers how long it took to become successful the first time.
She thinks about younger people entering the field.
She imagines failing and having to explain herself to friends and family.
Now she’s moved to stage two.
She’s believing the thought.
Notice what happened.
She hasn’t researched the opportunity.
She hasn’t spoken with anyone who’s made a similar transition.
She hasn’t tested her assumptions.
But she’s already treating the outcome as settled.
A few days later, she decides not to pursue the opportunity.
And just like that, she’s reached stage three.
She’s being governed by the thought.
She doesn’t realize it, but she’s made a major life decision based on an assumption she never examined.
That’s the danger.
The thought didn’t have to be true.
It only had to be believed.
Now imagine the same person responding differently.
The thought appears: “I’m too old to start over.”
But this time, instead of accepting it, she asks herself:
“Is that a fact, or is that a story?”
She acknowledges the genuine risks. She considers her experience and resources. She talks to someone who’s successfully made a career transition.
Then she takes one small step toward exploring the opportunity.
She may eventually decide that the move isn’t right for her.
That’s fine.
The important difference is that she’s making a decision based on examination rather than surrender.
And that distinction can change a life.
An Ancient Warning About a Divided Mind
There’s a passage in the Bible I’ve reflected on for years.
James 1:8 says:
“A double minded man is unstable in all his ways.” (KJV)
In its original context, James is addressing wavering faith and divided commitment.
But the passage also invites me to consider the internal conflicts we experience.
How can someone consciously believe they’re capable of achieving something, yet repeatedly behave as though they’re incapable?
How can we say we want success while continually rehearsing stories that make us afraid to pursue it?
We may know intellectually that we can change, yet feel emotionally imprisoned by what we’ve experienced before.
That conflict deserves our attention.
Not because every moment of doubt is a spiritual failure.
But because what we believe, what we value, and how we act are not always aligned.
And alignment matters.
You Don’t Have to Believe Everything You Think
There’s a concept in psychology called cognitive defusion.
It’s used in Acceptance and Commitment Therapy to help people recognize that thoughts are mental events, not necessarily facts or instructions.
Instead of saying:
“I’m not good enough.”
You might say:
“I’m noticing that I’m having the thought that I’m not good enough.”
A small change in language.
A potentially significant change in perspective.
You’re no longer treating the thought as a verdict.
You’re recognizing it as something your mind has produced.
And that creates room to examine it.
Learn more about cognitive defusion from the Association for Contextual Behavioral Science.
You’ve Got Two Minds. Which One Is Steering Your Life?
In my book, Pick Yourself For Success: How To Step Out Of Your Head And Into Your Greatness, there’s a section titled You’ve Got Two Minds.
I use the metaphor of a ship to explain the relationship between our conscious and subconscious mental processes.
Picture your conscious mind as the captain.
The captain decides where the ship should go. It studies the map, considers the destination, and plots the course.
Now picture your subconscious processes as the crew.
The crew represents the habits, learned associations, and automatic responses that influence what happens as the ship moves.
The captain may decide to sail toward a new destination.
But what happens when the crew keeps responding according to old habits?
The captain says, “Let’s go somewhere new.”
The crew keeps steering toward somewhere familiar.
It’s a metaphor, of course, not a literal description of how the brain is organized.
But it illustrates a problem many of us experience.
You can consciously want a new future while continuing to act according to the expectations of your past.
In the book, I offer this Power Tip:
“If you tell yourself excuses long enough, you’ll believe them.”
Consider how many limitations begin as explanations.
“I don’t have enough time.”
“I don’t know the right people.”
“I’m not ready.”
“I’m too young.”
“I’m too old.”
Some obstacles are real. Some require resources, training, patience, or help from others.
But others are stories we’ve repeated so often that we’ve stopped distinguishing them from reality.
That’s why one of the seven principles in my SUCCESS System is Elevate Your Mind.
Elevating your mind doesn’t mean pretending negative thoughts don’t exist.
It doesn’t mean standing in front of a mirror chanting positive affirmations while ignoring the circumstances of your life.
It means becoming more intentional about which thoughts deserve your attention, which beliefs deserve to be challenged, and which values deserve to guide your actions.
In other words, you don’t have to control every thought that enters your mind.
But you can work on changing how you respond to it.
A Simple Exercise: Stop Letting Every Thought Have the Final Word
The next time a thought tells you that you can’t do something important, try this three-part exercise.
First, notice the thought.
Don’t immediately argue with it or accept it.
Simply identify it.
“I’m having the thought that I’m not qualified.”
“I’m having the thought that I’m too old.”
“I’m having the thought that I’m going to embarrass myself.”
This creates some distance between you and the thought.
Second, examine the story.
Ask yourself three questions:
- Where did this belief come from?
- What evidence supports it, and what evidence challenges it?
- Am I responding to what’s actually happening, or to what I’m afraid might happen?
Be willing to discover that the thought contains a legitimate concern.
The goal isn’t to replace every negative thought with a positive one.
It’s to stop confusing unexamined assumptions with established facts.
Third, choose one action.
What could you do today that would move you toward the outcome you want?
Not something enormous.
Something concrete.
Send the email.
Research the opportunity.
Make the phone call.
Write the first paragraph.
Have the conversation.
You don’t need absolute certainty to take a thoughtful step.
And here’s something worth remembering.
Sometimes confidence follows action. It doesn’t always precede it.
You may discover that the story you’ve been telling yourself was wrong.
Or you may discover that the challenge is real but manageable.
Either way, you’ve gained something important.
You’re no longer allowing an unexamined thought to make the decision for you.
The Most Important Conversation
We question politicians.
We question employers.
We question the news, our neighbors, and sometimes even the people who love us most.
But there’s one voice we hear more than any other.
Our own.
And that voice isn’t always telling us the truth.
Here’s something I hope you’ll carry with you:
Just because a thought lives in your head doesn’t mean it deserves to lead your life.
We spend enormous amounts of time questioning what other people tell us, but remarkably little time questioning what we’ve been telling ourselves.
Perhaps it’s time we started.
Because the distance between where you are and where you want to be isn’t always measured in miles, money, education, or opportunity.
Sometimes it’s measured in the stories you’ve accepted about yourself.
And the first step toward changing your future may be questioning a story you’ve believed for years.
What’s Holding You Back From Your Greatness?
We all have blind spots.
Sometimes the greatest barriers to our progress are the ones we’ve stopped noticing.
That’s why I created The Greatness Gauge, a short self-assessment designed to help you reflect on where you are and where you want to go.
Consider it an opportunity to examine the distance between your intentions and your actions.
Take The Greatness Gauge and discover your next move.
Because the most dangerous voice in your life might be your own.
But it doesn’t have to be the voice that decides your future.
